Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Greatest 18th Birthday Present

18th birthdays don't mean anything in the US. It's better to be 17, than 18. When you turn 18, the trade-off being made is that now, you are actually accountable for criminal activity, but... but... you get to buy cigarettes and pornography. So you can't swing the doors of your car open and go beast mode on parking meters. But you can get those things you used to have to ask for, and buy a shittier paper version of what is free and abundant on the internet.

Speaking of the internet, I want to know of how future generations will view computers. Growing up, I always thought that the computer was some kind of magical porn window, and through computers, you could see anything getting stuck into anything else. The advent of the iphone and ipod touch have brought about the pocket porn window, and the pocket porn window with texting.

The internet and computers were revolutionary for masturbation around the entire world, but I have a non-pornography related idea on how to use them. In order to soften the shittiness of 18th birthdays. I plan on recording significant event in my life (Halloween parties, heavy drinking, highdeas, ect.) on video so that my child, on their 18th birthday, will realize that I, the well postured father figure, was really a dumb-ass who probably shouldn't have had kids in the first place. 

- What if the last woman I sleep with isn't my child's mother?
- What if I adopt a 16 year old? Would the film just scare the hell out of them?
- What if I'm arrested and unable to make additional posts?
- How the hell can I edit all this?

This is what went through my head today.


  1. Lol, no one buys porn anymore

  2. i cant keep my eyes of your page mmmm

  3. The idea of getting all that stuff on video is genius. Do it do it do it.

  4. great post, thx for sharing